reverence

when thy confidence low, 

when thy moral lost, 

disappointment be the going by, 

fall he may, but shall not die. 

err he may have,

for a reason it was,

but wants he a change,

for thee better side.

fight he can, of world with might 

fight he can, with thy till light 

but chokes he to death, 

when thee little uptight.   

purity has a price, 

and the price too high, 

yet chooses he to pay...   

a life for a life.

He plans his every action and every word

So I have this friend of mine...in order for protection from privacy laws lets call him Gopal.
With whatever association I have with Gopal, I can say I dont share a very flattering image of him, yet we continue to have a nice friendship.

We often have very thoughtful exchanges of ideas on varied topics, so the other day when I was talking to him and he said something which just stuck with me.
Of all the processing capabilities I have, till date I cannot understand one sentence he spoke...

--- In his life, he plans his every action and every word, of course with a caveat - when he
   isn't sober, something I have rarely witnessed.

I reasoned with him a lot about the uncertainties of life and nothing can be preplanned, but boy!!! he reasoned well and had answers to all my arguments on his theory. However I am still not able to digest his theory and so this blog. It's open to your comments about any questions and if I have not put them to him, be assured that I will.

Our conversation lasted couple of hours (yeah a few hours spent on just one sentence), but I'll be short and provide a summary.

Gopal follows a process:

1. He maps and maintains an unbiased portfolio of every person he interacts and this mapping starts even before any verbal exchanges.
2. He thinks every single word he speaks: How will it be perceived, what effect will this perception have on interpersonal relations.
3. Tries to use his portfolio to understand the other person's reasoning behind every sentence they speak.
4. And finally after every exchange he goes and updates the portfolio.

Similarly, for any situation in life:

1. He considers all variables (actors, non-actors).
2. He tries to put values to these variables (a lot help is from the above portfolio)
3. Comes to a decision and action izes into several steps.
4. With the outcome of each step, he reassigns the variable values and does a course correction if needed be.

Now above is an oversimplified summary, but the jist is that he claims to live life by a decision tree and tries to draw some logical reasoning to every moment of his life (howsoever obscure it may sound).

Frankly speaking I was baffled by his reasoning to every situation and even termed him a 
Bio-muscular algorithmic experiment, and kept just short of tagging him as a non-emotional robotic creature.

For all the readers who have made it to the end - I would like hear your views and I may even be motivated to put some more juice here, and

for Gopal...I am sure you will be able to put some theory behind my action of writing this blog and we shall continue to share a nice friendship :P. No hard feelings buddy :)

Dil aaj sabr bhar kar le tu...

Dil aaj sabr bhar kar le tu,

kuch pee le tu, kuch jee le tu.

kuch raahi hi to chute hai,

kuch sapne hi to tute hai.

kuch raste thode sunsaan hue,

kuch chehre bas gumnaam hue.

ham meet naye banayenge,

kuch geet naye bhi gaayenge.

fir bin karan kehkahe gunjenge,

fir yunhi masti mein ghumenege.

fir raat hans hans beetegi,

zindagi fir se kuch jeetegi.

bas aaj sabr bhar kar le tu,

kuch pee le tu, kuch jee le tu.

kyu rota hai, kyu khota hai,

pagal kyun tu chota hota hai.

kuch manzil hi to dur hui,

thodi mushkil hi zarur hui.

nayi rahen fir banayenge,

kuch naya khoj kar laayenge.

ek basti fir hogi apni,

neend puri fir hogi apni.

bas aaj sabr bhar kar le tu,

kuch pee le tu, kuch jee le tu.

ye to aksar hi hota hai,

kuch aata hai, kuch jaata hai,

ispar hasne mein kya ghata hai?

tujhko to ab aadat hogi,

kyu jeene ki fir chahat khodi?

aankon ko fir kyu karta hai nam,

patthar ko bhi kya hota hai gam?

Dil aaj sabr bhar kar le tu,

kuch pee le tu, kuch jee le tu.

come close and hug me...

Here is a translation of a Hindi song word to word from hind to to English, and see for yourself how much fun it is. (thanks to the translation provided by some guy on YouTube)
The song is humko hami se chura lo, from Mohabatein. :)

There are three main stanza in this song.

• हमको हमी से चुरा लो, दिल में कहीं तुम छुपा लो!

हम अकेले खो ना जाएँ, दूर तुमसे हो ना जाएँ!

पास आओ गले से लगा लो!!!

• Steal me from myself and hide me somewhere in your heart, for I alone, might get lost, might get separated from you, come close and hug me. (sic)

• ये दिल धड़का दो, जुल्फें बिखरा दो...

शर्मा के अपना, आँचल लहरा दो!!!

हम जुल्फें तो बिखरा दें, दिन में रात ना हो जाए!

हम आँचल तो लहरा दें, पर बरसात ना हो जाए!!!

होने दो बरसातें, करनी हैं कुछ बातें,

पास आओ गले से लगा लो!!!

• This heart is beating, let your hair loose, be shy and let your "anchal" fall (Saari loose part that goes on the shoulder)

I can loosen my hair but it might become night in the day, I can loosen my anchal but it might start raining.

Let it rain, we have some important talks to talk.

Come close and hug me. (sic)

• तुम पे मरते हैं, हम मर जायेंगे!

ये सब कहते हैं, हम डर जायेंगे!!!

चुटकी भर सिंदूर से तुम अब से मांग ज़रा भर दो!

कल क्या हो किसने देखा, सब कुछ आज अभी कर दो!!

हो ना हो, सब राज़ी, दिल राज़ी, रब राज़ी!

पास आओ गले से लगा लो!!

• I am in love with you, I will die for you, everyone says that, but I will actually do that

Take sindoor and put it on my maang (middle part of the forehead) for who knows what will happen tomorrow let's just do everything today right now

May or may not be everyone ready, hearts is ready and god is ready.

Come close and hug me.

P.S. : I liked the repetitive use of Come close and hug me part. ROFL. Also I tried to do the best formatting, but blogger editor isn't that good.

punter shayari :) :)

ki kal soya nahi puri raat

mein jo teri raah takta tha

bas thodi se ho jaaye baat

ye soch jagta tha.

yun to hoti hai umr barabar akele raat

par waqt bitane ko nindiya raani thi saath

wo kuch baat to nahi karti thi

bas taktaki se mujhe dekha karti thi

sirf ek pal ka tha intezaar usko

mein jo padu kamjor, to aagosh me lele mujkho

yun to gtalk aur fb ke daur mein

kam hi ho paata hun "net akela"

par kuch ghanto ke liye hi sahi

bas zero green dots dekhta raha

mein jalta... ki wo sote honge madhosh

par iss jagraate mein... unka to nahi dosh

shayar aksar likh diya karte hai

ki intezaar mein pyaar chupa karte hai

!!!par ae magroor sanam!!!

samjhna ye...hogi naadani teri,

tera intezaar ek mazboori hai meri

tere sang kuch lamho ki baat

mere kuch din jee lene ki hai saugaat.

bas kuch aisa samajh le tu

jab hoti hai meri battery low

tu aake kar deti hai recharge.

fullto katofying varsh

For the second time in less than 24 hours,
I had this sullen feeling : "desi ka bada wala kat gaya".

Now if I were to be Alchemist, I must think of them as bad omens which will guide me to an alternate path and will lead me to ultimate redemption. While Mr. Coelho was quite dogmatic through his melodramatic story as he ultimately led us to happy ending; on a personal front I'll choose to differ and to be a bit more pragmatic.

As they say, for time and day first feel is always the most correct judgement one can make.

Thus I can safely term this upcoming year as the "fullto katofying varsh".

And as I write this post I am bracing myself for another blessing of all powerful, almighty THE KATALUJI PRABHU!!!

this day comes and goes...

For the past 26 years, this day has been coming and going...just like any other day.

Atleast for me!!!
People have pretty strong feelings with this day of their lives, but for me its just another day. And I try to make sure that, I also be a part of their happiness.
For me its just usual, Ofcourse my cell buzzes 2 more times. I dont mind that, if someone is happy for me, I ll not spoil it.

This doesnt mean...I despise this day or I hate people who celebrate theirs, but truly speaking I find no reason to celebrate.
For what should I celebrate, what good have I added to this world. Like one of the 6 billion people in this world, I was also born.
So what??? many in this world dont even know when they were born, and many are too busy to earn their livelihood to stop and celebrate, thankfully that's not the case here.

Maybe a day will come when I feel I did something good for this world, that day I ll be happy that I exist.
I will celebrate it someday, this is the resolution I take each year. May be mine next will call for the occasion, but till then, lets just say that like every year, I ll acknowledge my birthday.
So Mr Agarwal...wish you a birthday. Happy or not, lets wait for the coming years to tell.